Stuff I Care About

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Christianity goes Telemarketing!!!!!

Today's posting is a little personal, something that I rarely do. However, I got a phone call two days ago that got me thinking. The Jehovah Witnesses left me a message detailing what fate lies for me in the afterlife if I do not accept JayCee as my savior. Now, I know that most mainstream Xtians deny the absurdity of this sect by implementing their favorite argument (IE- "Well, that version of Xtianity is wrong....), but here is the catch. You are all under the same umbrella. It is not our fault that you all decided to fragment the belief to suit your needs. All rhetorical rants aside, I get to the point.

At first, I was really bothered by them invading my personal space and calling my home phone number. But, that mellowed. Now, I hope that they call back. All conjecture aside, they got me thinking about the appropriate way to respond to such discussions.

When I go to work, I often use the technique of mirroring with people. What this means, is I reframe behavior and attitudes in a manner that allows a person to objectively (and safely) see how irrational they are. So, I have decided to do the same with these folks. When someone starts talking to me about JayCee in an evangelical tone, I have come up with the following response. Cause, really, one crazy wholeheartedly deserves another;

"I am sorry. You see, I sold my soul to the Devil when I was ten for ice cream. My position in the afterlife has been firmly secured at the side of the Dark Lord. Thanks anyways."

I would encourage you all to do the same. I cannot wait to test it out.


  1. If you are looking to get a rise out of them, it might work. If you want them to examine how crazy their beliefs are, I don't forsee this doing anything towards that. It might be funny to hear the reaction, but I doubt that they will seriously consider anything you say.

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  3. To be honest, mostly just doing it to amuse myself. I really do not think that I will ever get through to them, blogging has taught me that much.

  4. "I am sorry. You see, I sold my soul to the Devil when I was ten for ice cream. My position in the afterlife has been firmly secured at the side of the Dark Lord. Thanks anyways."

    Their reply might be.

    Ohhh.... then you sayin you are Mormon??

    And then they`ll proceed to go on and on and on tellin you all reasons why Mormon faith isnt REAL Christianity


  5. Yeah, back to their standard arguments. I wonder if anyone would actually believe me? Are there really people out there who believe such nonsense occurs?

  6. Yes, some people really do believe that you can sell your soul to the devil.

  7. Yeah specially if its a talking snake

  8. If its a talking snake devil....Why you could sell your soul ...And even put everyone elses soul in jeopardy as well :(

  9. JW's frustrate me because they never tell me what they really think; that they are the one true church and all the others are false. It's been a long time since they knocked on my front door, and the last time they did I had a civil but lengthy conversation with them. A friend of a friend keeps a supply of Jack Chick tracts handy to use as deterrents whenever they come to his house.

  10. I agree with you Ross about JW's.... However, when I lived in a nonsecure building, I had a myriad of faiths come to my door. It always blew me away.

    Wouldn't a more "visible" and "charitable" presence in the community be a better way to entice people into this dialogue.... I for one, would be a little more impressed if I saw a church outreach working with non Christians just for the sake of selflessness and charity.... If I saw more examples of this, then I know that my belief that religion is socially dangerous to the world might loosen up a little.

  11. Ross- Here it is.

    I would support the church, aside from not believing in God, if I felt that they were assisting everyone to improve the overall state of the larger community. Let us say that this person who is calling me is a volunteer. Would it not be better to send her out to a shelter or a soup kitchen to represent the public image of the church rather than having her cold call idiots like me? Let us say that she is being paid.... Would the money not be better spent giving water and sunscreen to the homeless rather than preaching to me?